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Video Reflection on Dying #14--FACING THE PROGRESSION OF MY ALS
Claude LeBlanc NOTE: I'm writing these reflections, at the request of my children, on the lessens learned during my life as I face death due to ALS, but I thought there might be something for others to benefit from as well. My hope is that you will be blessed by the blessings of my life.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
I’m taking a break from “looking back on my life” to reflect on an experience I had recently. A close friend invited me to attend a four-day retreat with him and two others at Prince of Peace Abbey in Oceanside. Excitedly, I accepted, but Yolanda was concerned; it would be the first time I was away from her overnight since I was diagnosed.
In my ninth reflection, I shared how difficult it was for people who didn’t know me to enter into conversations, and that was also true on this retreat, but since it was silent, it didn’t really matter—I fit right in! However, I had to face the progression of my ALS in another way.
That “other way” can be summed up in a conversation I had with another friend who is recovering from cancer. When I wished him “happy birthday” he responded, “I pray to Jesus that you are not suffering.” My reply was, “We’re all suffering; mine is just different than I thought it would be. I’m in no pain, but I’m at the point where I need help taking care of myself, and I don’t want to be a burden on anyone, especially my wife.
While on retreat, I shared what I was facing (in writing) to one of the priests. He asked me if I wanted to be more like Christ. Of course, I nodded. Then he quoted St. Paul: “He humbled Himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross” (Phil. 2-8). In other words, if I wished greater union with God, I needed to humbly take up the cross that meant not only accepting help, but submitting myself to the care of others.
If you’re wondering, “What’s so tough about that?” then reread my tenth reflection and you’ll understand. Apparently, the path being laid out for me by God is (and please excuse me for putting words in His mouth): “The more you willingly submit to those I have and will put into your life, you will grow in obedience to My will and accept that death from ALS is a great gift.” Well, I’ll have to unpack that a little further, but suffice it to say, I’m getting ready for the journey of my life—a great “leap” of faith.
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