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Video Reflection on Dying #3--GOD IS HEALING ME THROUGH ALS! (part 2)
Claude LeBlanc NOTE: I'm writing these reflections on the lessens learned during my life as I face death due to ALS at the request of my children, but I thought there might be something for others to benefit from. My hope is that you will be blessed by the blessings of my life.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
In my previous reflections, I shared how my ALS diagnosis has helped me face that accepting God’s will is really what’s best for me, and that a major reason why, is noticing the beginnings of spiritual healing. Last time, I also mentioned that I’ve noticed some emotional, psychological, and social healing because of it. That is what I want to share today.
Like many of us, I grew up with negative messages and thoughts. Some of the external ones were, “You need to be better to be acceptable” and “You’re not smart enough.” I internalized them, and added my own, like, “I’m ugly” and “I’m unlovable.” What do you think happens to someone with these wounds? In my case, I withdrew from others, and isolated emotionally. Of course, that led to unhealthy attempts to deal with my sexuality, that have reverberated through my life and affected others, although unintentionally. Somehow, I managed to keep up the appearance of “having it all together”, going to college, having a career, marriage, and family, but inside I felt as if I were looking at others living life, while I was just watching.
As a response to having ALS, I have had many heart-to-heart conversations with God, which have helped me more fully accept that I am loved unconditionally by Him. I’ve also experienced the caring of others in a way I never could have imagined. I have been contacted and visited by more extended family, friends, and former students in the past six months, than I believe I have in the previous 30 years. This had had a profound effect on me, and that will be the topic of my next reflection. God Bless!
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